"Come What May and Love It"

Ever since childhood, I would dream and fantasize about being a big girl and doing big girl things. And well, that day is here. I moved away from home, to a place I know nothing about. I don't know anyone, which sometimes makes me feel like I don't even know anything at all. To say the least, it's hard to be away from my parents. It's hard not to be surrounded by people who love you, and in a place you love. It's hard making a single room your whole home. It's hard paying $1.50 to do my laundry. It's hard buying so many things just to stay alive. It's hard. So much of being a big girl is hard. It is absolutely nothing what I thought nor hoped it would be.

I have so many emotions that I feel almost no emotion... and I have yet to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. There have been countless hard goodbyes but already so many perfect hellos. I'm scared of it all being so hard. I'm scared of not doing well in school. Most of all, I am scared of being so far away from my parents, my family, and my Austin. If I think too hard, or be scared too much, it gets the best of me. Because every other emotion is excitement. I am excited to start a whole chapter of life, and to learn all about a whole new place. I am excited to meet so many new people. I am excited to start school, and to learn again. I am excited to learn new things about myself, and those around me. Most of all, I am excited to go to church. I am excited to go somewhere that I know is the same as home.

So much of me is scared, yet so much of me is excited. But most of all, I know this is where I should be, and this is what I should be doing. I know that my Savior has a plan for me. I know that He lives, and that He loves me. And for now, that is enough. It is MORE than enough.

I believe in embracing every moment, and every stage of life we are in. I believe in doing what makes us happy, and glad that we are alive. I look forward to what is ahead and for where I might go. I am happy, and I am alive. And so it begins... "Come what may and love it."

xoxo,
ellie d.